Breaking news from the worlds you'd rather live in.

Sunday, November 23, 2014
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Can Evan Stacey save jinxed Shakespeare pic?

(Los Angeles, USA) It has become almost impossible to ignore the many rumors that are running rampant on one of Hollywood’s biggest back-lots, especially when they all point to an uncanny case of life imitating art. Anonymous sources suggest that Galactic Studios’ current production ‘Macbeth, Revenged’ is suffering from the same curse as Shakespeare’s original play. And seeing as the movie is about how Shakespeare steals the idea for ‘Macbeth’ from an unknown actor who then takes his revenge by sabotaging the play’s premiere, how ironic is that? Tales of poisoned crew members, injured actors and self-combusting props have all …continue reading

Monkey With Bomb Causes Chaos In Clock Shop

Security cam footage

(Vancouver, Canada) Security was called yesterday, at the Shopping Banquet in Jericho Park, to deal with a disturbance. One of the vendors, a clock seller of Tick Tock Kits, John Carpatsky, ran around the pavilion, screaming about evil corporations, bombs, clocks, and monkeys. He also reportedly attacked Alex McQueen, president of Van-Chic*, who was visiting the Shopping Banquet at the time. After being subdued by security forces, Carpatsky was taken into custody by local police. Before being led away, Carpatsky made a public statement, recorded by our reporter on site. “Large corporations are destroying the world,” Carpatsky declared. “They are evil exploiters, …continue reading

Preacher Suffers Amnesia; New Personality Is An Atheist

Sunday Sermon at 11th St. Reform Church

To hear Kevin McQuorrie speak about religion is like hearing any other atheist. “It’s a house on shifting sand, isn’t it? How can you build your life around a rule system that contradicts itself in just about every instance? That’s not a hand guide to enlightened living—its a recipe for giving old men the power to control you, since they are the only ones who know how to interpret the rules ‘properly.’ And is it any wonder that it was exactly those sorts of old men who wrote this crap in the first place?” Troubling words to some, but none were more …continue reading

Love Gone Bad or High-stakes Hijacking? Authorities Uncertain

Planet

(Marl: First Rock) An investigation continues into the alleged piracy that occurred last month in Low Marl Orbit. Reggardi Shortstik, the teenager whose parents own the space yacht in question, continues to insist that freighter captain Pall Swiftcar, in concert with Shortstik’s passenger, Sarah Talmaiz, deliberately disabled the space yacht and then fled to the Hoop. According to Shortstik, the incident began when he and Talmaiz were involved in a romantic tryst in Low Marl Orbit. Shortstik claims that the yacht was deliberately disabled so that valuable parts could be removed by Captain Swiftcar. He further claims that while he was repairing the …continue reading

Mystery Man Foils Statue of Liberty Terror Plot

Mysterious figure arrives at Liberty

(New York, NY) A ‘mystery man’ foiled a terrorist attack at the Statue of Liberty on Sunday morning, according to a statement by the NYPD. Though details are being withheld pending review by Homeland Security, the Mayor’s Office has provided a general statement to the press. “Officer Hoyt Wexford evacuated guests in the Torch observation area as a mystery man called the Nightcrawler apprehended two suspects. They were in possession of a case filled with anthrax powder. We are urging the Nightcrawler to come forth and assist us with  information that will help us deal with a possible ongoing threat.” …continue reading